Rafe's (very late) Six month update!

so as I mentioned a couple of posts ago I have recently started a new, fitness based blog so this blog has sort of taken a back seat. However having checked my 'stats' I can see that some of you out there do still read my baby brain induced ramblings (thank you!) So I thought I would do a few more posts on here! Also this blog kind of doubles as a diary of Rafe and how he has grown, pregnancy...all that stuff, so I figure it might be nice for me to go back and re-read it when my son is a big, hairy teenager!





So Rafe is actually almost seven months old now, so although this will be his six month update I will just give a general update as to whats been going on in our lives. Firstly I will get the sensitive topic of sleep covered and out of the way. Basically we don't get any sleep! The four month sleep regression hit us HARD and never went away. I am up a minimum of three times during the night (that's a good night) and he usually wakes up in the morning before 6am aswell. Oh and he's a nightmare to put to bed at night too. How I am still alive and (barely) functioning I have no idea! We are going to be trying to put him into his own room soon in the hope that he will sleep better in there. Yes he still sleeps in our room, quite often in our bed (please don't lecture me...well unless you are a sleep advisor and then yes please lecture away!) I know co-sleeping is a controversial subject, I never thought that I would do it, but because I am still breastfeeding and I am seriously sleep deprived, if it gets him to sleep I will do it. Sometimes the lack of sleep does get me down I won't lie. As I mentioned in my earlier post (massive mum rant post!) I really think it contributes to low mood and anxiety. BUT this is the situation I am in and there's not much I can do about it but hope and pray it improves soon. I've spoken to a lot of mums and it sounds to me as if some babies just sleep better than others. Don't get me wrong I could probably be doing things better but women with multiple children have said that quite often one was really troublesome to get to sleep whereas the other was a dream. Oh and I have asked for advice from our health visitor (who was incredibly unhelpful!) and she just gave me a leaflet on controlled crying. We have tried this before and found it a crap method for Rafe but we thought we would give it another go after she basically told me she had to sleep in her sons rooms until he was nine and unless I did it I would likely be in the same situation. Anyway we did it for one evening. It ended in Rafe crying so much he was sick (and I didn't even leave for as long as it said, I just did five minutes max!) and me in hysterical tears. Safe to say we will not be doing that. Ever. Again.

Okay enough about sleep. Let's talk feeding. I am still breastfeeding, although Rafe now has two bottom teeth and yesterday HE BIT ME!! New baby teeth are like little razors and I am not going to lie, I swore! Not at him, just at the pain! I bought him a NUBY no spill sippy cup thing that he will except milk from so that's good. He will also eat some solids now. I first tried him on solids at five and a half months (after everyone and their dog insisted it would help him sleep...it hasn't). He wasn't ready at that point so I left it until six months and that's when he really started showing an interest in our food when we were eating. He's tried quite a lot of foods now, he loves fruit peaches, strawberries, pear, apple, melon, raspberries and apricots. I make my own baby food like steamed and pureed carrot, butternut squash and sweet potatoes. We also have a Munchin fresh food feeder (NUBY do one too) that is like a net on a handle that you can fill with fruit that the baby can sort of suck out without the risk of choking. Also helps with co-ordination.
Rafe has been a tad constipated since we started him on solids (even though he doesn't have baby rice) so I give him apricot puree and as recommended by the doctor 2.5ml or lactulose twice a day, morning and evening. Which he hates. But it seems to do the trick!

As I said he has two bottom teeth and he's still teething so I think he has some top ones on the way. I found Anbesol liquid to be the most helpful teething application. Along with the occasional dose of Calpol, although I try and keep Calpol to a minimum. The fresh food feeder frozer works as a good teether aswell.

Rafe can now roll over both ways and he can sit up! He can't sit himself up yet but if we get him sat up he can balance there by himself without needing support. We are always there or have cushions around him when he does this because he will occasionally topple over. He now sucks his toes and is a pro in his Jumperoo! He loves going for walks in our new Baby Bjorn carrier! It's probably my favourite piece of baby apparatus. It makes it so much easier to go for a walk in the forest or down the beach without having to worry about how well the buggy will cope with the different terrains. I LOVE baby wearing aswell and because Rafe is old enough to face outwards he really enjoys being able to see what is going on around him. He does fall asleep in it a fair bit (unbelievable...he can't fall asleep in his own comfy bed and yet the carrier whilst I am walking along is apparently ideal sleeping conditions for him!) must be the motion.

I don't know Rafes current weight and height because I don't get him weighed very regularly. Last time I went the health visitor weighed him and he had gone down (slightly) on his percentile line. She then turned to me and asked in and almost accusatory tone if I knew of any reason for this. Well seeing as I had been up about four times in the night feeding him I did not react well to the assumption that I am not feeding my child. I find it ridiculous that they can even compare the weight gain of formula fed babies with the weight gain of breastfed babies. There should be two separate growth charts in my opinion. I am not massively pro breastfeeding or anything, I am a firm believer in 'fed is best'. However having been encouraged by every doctor, midwife, health visitor and baby book that I have read to do it I do not then want to be made to fee like I am not doing a good job when I feed on demand (and offer additional feeds and solids in between) I'm up multiple times a night feeding and I am doing something that is actually pretty hard and restricting in order to try and do the very best for my child. When I asked said unhelpful health visitor (same one who recommended controlled crying) if there's anything I should do differently she offered no advice and just said to carry on as I was?! Anyway I will be including some pictures of Rafe in this post and he clearly is not underweight or malnourished in any way! In my opinion a babies weight is not an accurate way to determine how healthy they are (unless massively over or under weight obviously). Rafe is almost seven months old and has, so far (touch wood...so superstitious me) never had so much as a cold so clearly his immune system is doing well. Sorry rant over.

Few more bits to add, Rafe is really good at picking things up and playing with them and getting things (Sophie la giraffe) into his mouth so his co-ordination is developing well. He is such a smiley baby and will smile at everyone. He does belly laughs and chuckles, I've noticed he mainly laughs at Richard, apparently I am not that funny. He is full of energy and likes to have your full and undivided attention at all times. We took him to the swimming pool for the first time a couple of weeks ago and he seemed to enjoy it with no tears or fuss! I have never left Rafe for more than a few hours and even then he has only ever been left with Richard...more because of my separation anxiety than his I would just like to add. However I have an operation coming up, I should only be away from him for the day (6-8 hours I have been told) so we are at the moment in the process of getting him a pro at accepting milk from his sippy cup so Richard will be able to handle him while I am gone.

I think the greatest piece of advice I can offer any new mum (that I have learned from my almost seven months of motherhood) is to not compare yourself or your baby to anybody else. Everyone is different, every baby is different. Some sleep really well from 6 weeks of age some don't sleep until they are a year old. Some are walking from nine months, some are still bum shuffling. How fast your baby does things is not a reflection of you as a mum. Aslong as you are doing the very best you can then you can be sure you are doing a good job. I have personally found some of the 'professionals' ie health visitors and doctors to be the most unhelpful of all. Always follow your instincts as a mother and talk to as many mums with children as possible they can provide the most invaluable and supportive advice of all. I am not saying don't listen to health professionals but you know your baby best of all so don't be afraid to ask for a second opinions if you are not happy with the responses they give.

Jx


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Using Lush henna hair due

Hello all! I am back with a more upbeat post...not (for once) about babies and motherhood but about beauty! Well hair colouring to be more specific. After having my son my appearance somewhat took a backseat in terms of priorities...especially my hair! It got so long it was almost bum length. All well and good except having a baby to look after meant long, mermaid hair wasn't exactly practical! It was also highlighted with blonde balayage highlights (which I loved and do miss a bit) and the maternity pay that I currently am on doesn't really cover having my hair professionally coloured reguarly, so I decided a change was in order!

Now I have zero patience. Once I get an idea in my head I want to to it right away. And I can't stop thinking about it until I do. So rather than getting my hair dyed uniform, natural brown at the salon I decided to go it alone and buy a box dye. I chose a Revlon coloursilk one in a warm light brown colour and enthusiastically wacked it on over my highlights. Well it turned bloody khaki didn't it?! It looked HORRENDOUS! Never, ever dye over blonde without first putting some pigment back into the hair or you are likely to be left with a rather unflattering shade of khaki/grey! So then in a panic (again should have contacted a hairdresser at this point) I covered over this with a bright red semi permanent dye. This turned out pretty well to be fair but it didn't take aswell to the previously khaki areas and I felt the colour was a little too dramatic on me. At this point I decided to book a consultation with the hairdresser for a colour correction. I turned up and enthusiastically showed her a photos of what I wanted (warm brown hair with caramel balayage, ombré highlights...basically what I had to start off with!) and after performing a strand test the hairdresser called and to my dismay revealed my hair was too damaged to take anymore colouring/bleaching. She advised me to try and fade the colour (I was already washing my hair three times a day with head and shoulders at this point!) and condition lots but mainly to leave it alone. Did I take this advice?! Did I hell!

I immediately went and purchased a box of regular use colour B4 determined to get rid of the bright red! This worked fairly well...I just had orange hair for a couple of days. I then got a Nice n' easy permanent dye in a warm light brown shade and went over the top which again turned out okay. But I still wasn't happy with the colour. The Nice n' Easy nearly choked me with the ammonia smell as I was applying it aswell, and I wanted to try a more natural approach (plus I was getting a bit worried my hair might fall out). I did a bit of research online and decided to purchase some auburn Surya henna powder. You add hot water to the powder, mix it to the consistency of melted chocolate and then apply it all over your hair. Henna needs heat to work so you need to apply something to your head to trap the heat in e.g. a shower cap (I clingfilmed my head, and then put a woolly hat over the top...attractive!) I left it on for two hours (two hours smelling like I had been smoking a joint) and then finally rinsed it off. Colour was a lot more even than the box dyes and my hair felt much healthier but I STILL wasn't happy with the colour. Too red yet again. So then I had a look on the Lush website and found their henna blocks. I chose one called 'caca brun' (apparently 'caca' means poop in Spanish...so yeah shade poop brown took my fancy!) I did more thorough research this time at before and after pictures of the results of caca brun and decided to give it a go. The great thing about henna is that it is GOOD for your hair and you can use it as many times as you like to build your desired colour without doing any damage. Lush offer other shades some more red and then the caca brun and caca noir which both contain indigo (another natural plant dye)  to make them darker. The blocks also contain other natural ingredients including cocoa butter which is super nourishing. I used the block in much the same way as the powder. I had to break it into chunks and then I dissolved it in hot water until it was the right consistency. I washed and dried my hair without conditioning it before using this (you are supposed to do this I was just too lazy the previous time!) then applied it in the same way as before but left it for 3 hours this time. Trust me three hours sitting with your head in clingfilm and a woolly hat in June is not idea but the results were so worth it! My hair is now a rich, chocolatey brown and I love it! It's still very reddish but not too 'in your face' red just a nice deep brown red. And it feels so strong and soft!

There are some downsides to henna, it's a long process. It's messy (my God is it messy) and the blocks take ages to rinse out thanks to the cocoa butter in them BUT it's so worth it! No damage to your hair, it actually conditions the hair, if you have kids you don't have to worry about them (or yourself) breathing in any chemicals because it's all natural. And the colour takes really well even to
damaged hair. After you have done the henna and rinsed and dried you need to wait around 24 hours to let it develop further and see the true results. My colour deepened in this time and looked even nicer. I think henna is always going to make the hair quite red so if you like ash colours then it might not be for you. It's probably wise to do a strand test before using it to see what the colour will look like and to determine how long to leave it in your hair for (there's no set time limit). I can't comment on how it would cover grey as I don't have any grey hair yet but I would assume they would just turn out lighter and maybe resemble highlights (again patch test to make sure!) If you have any henna based questions do let me know...I am no hair professional (CLEARLY) but I will do my best to answer them!

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I'm Back...sort of...

WARNING: Negative, ranting, struggling mother post coming up. Excessively happy, positive, naturals at motherhood this isn't for you.

I haven't written a post on this blog for so long now. The reason being that I've set up a new blog entirely, it's devoted to fitness and getting back in shape after having a baby. I felt that I had to blog about something I am truly passionate about...not that I am not passionate about motherhood, I am, I just adore fitness and I feel like this blog became more about babies than barbells or beauty. Stupid name anyway.

So what's new with me since I have been absent from Blogger? Well Rafe is now six months old, he has two bottom teeth, he has started eating some solids, we are still breastfeeding...oh and he still doesn't sleep. Sleep is an awful, horrible, horrendous, and soul destroying subject! The four month regression arrived...AND NEVER WENT AWAY!! The last time Rafe slept longer than a four hour stretch during the night was Easter weekend (where he did it two nights in a row...Easter miracle?!) and it hasn't happened since. He currently wakes up around every two hours during the night every night, and it is KILLING me. It's amazing how lack of sleep can affect your mood. I am struggling so much to maintain and upbeat "I'm loving motherhood, it's the best thing in the world" persona to everyone around me when all I want is a bottle of red wine and a good nights sleep. "Hasn't the time flown by?!" everyone said when Rafe hit six months last week. Well no actually. Time is not flying for me. Time is positively dragging it's feet and making me incredibly miserable.

I love my son. I love my son more than anything and everything in the entire world. I would die for him (dramatic much? But it's true) but I have found myself questioning on more than one occasion whether or not I am actually suited to motherhood and whether having children at all was the right decision. That's awful isn't it? And I know these thoughts are all stemming from the fact I have not slept for more than two (occasionally three) hours at a time in the last two months. I am totally and utterly convinced there must be a link between lack of sleep and depression. I feel anxious, overwhelmed and unconfident on a daily basis. Sometimes the thought of even going to the supermarket is too much for me. WHO AM I?! It sounds ridiculous, I know it sounds ridiculous but that's honestly how I feel. "It gets better" that's what I get told by every fucker and their dog. Okay then but WHEN?! When is it going to get better? When my child eventually goes off to uni?

Mine and Richards relationship has massively suffered since having our son. Rafe sleeps in our room STILL because I am not prepared to be getting up four times a night and going all the way to another room. Maybe that's the problem, I don't know. I'm clearly no baby expert. But anyway back to the point I was making, if anyone out there is thinking of having a baby to make their relationship stronger DON'T. Okay maybe you will be lucky and have a baby that sleeps through the night from eight weeks old. But there's always a possibility you won't, and that you will have a nightmare sleeper like ours and trust me only the strongest relationship will survive that. 

Do I have post partum depression? I don't think so but I am pretty unhappy. So many mummy blogs out there just talk about their lovely days out with their little cherubs (no doubt after a blissful nights sleep) I just wanted to give another side. It's not easy for everyone and I really think it depends on the baby. If you are one of the lucky ones whose baby sleeps through the night and you have a friend or fellow mummy at mother and baby group whose child doesn't sleep through don't gloat. Don't be a bitch. Tell a little fib and pretend your child doesn't sleep through either, because the chances are that poor woman is going to go home and cry.

Here's hoping my next post will be about how we have cracked it and our child is sleeping through...but I wouldn't hold your breath...and it may be in seventeen and a half years! Something that I am certain about is that Rafe will be an only child. I am a fully fledged member on the 'One and done' club and completely happy with that.

J

There are probably a lot of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes in this post, my apologies just needed a good rant!

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