It's all about balance!

Something occured to me as I posted my aesthetically pleasing photograph of my porridge on instagram this morning...am I being entirely honest about my lifestyle?
My instagram name is 'Fithealthymummyblogger' and I pride myself on leading a healthy lifestyle and exercising regularly (which is true, I do all these things). But I also allow myself to indulge occasionally and have the odd treat here and there, and more often than not I do not post photographic evidence of this on social media.  
People can come across in whatever way they want on social media, it's so easy to create an image of your life by being careful of the selection of photo's that you post. 
I try to eat healthy 'clean' foods, I would say, about 80-90% of the time but I am not always as strict with myself as I could be. So this morning I did have a delicious bowl of porridge made with almond milk with mixed berries and chopped banana...but last night I also devoured an Indian takeaway, complete with naan bread and a papadum...or two. I didn't, however, post a picture of this rather 'unclean' takeaway on Instagram. 

Do I think this makes me a fraud or that I should change my Instagram name immediately? Not at all. I personally believe part of leading a healthy lifestyle and having a healthy relationship with food is treating yourself occasionally. Everything in 
moderation. Hence the title of this post being about balance. 

In the past I have not had such a healthy mindset towards eating, exercise and food. I was a person of two extremes,sometimes I would be getting up at 5am before work and going for a run, then walking to and from work, then occasionally going to an exercise class in the evening, all while consuming much less calories than my body needed to sustain this level of activity. I would eat clean, some greek yoghurt and banana for breakfast, salad and chicken for lunch and then meat or fish with vegetables for dinner, but it just wasn't enough food. I was terrified of carbs and sugar free Red Bull used to get me through the extreme tiredness that I always felt. I loved exercise, but it completely controlled me. I couldn't go a day without running or I felt horrendous about myself, like I was going to suddenly put on 4 stone because I missed exercise for one day.

Then there was the other side of me that would just binge on unhealthy foods. I couldn't just have one or two biscuits, for example, it would be a whole pack, then chocolate then ice cream. Anything that I could get my hands on that was among the foods that I feared but also secretly loved. My body needed the calories and because I spent most of my life feeling hungry once I started eating I found it hard to stop. Afterwards I would feel incredibly guilty and disgusted in myself. I am not saying that I have ever had an eating disorder, but I have in the past been stuck in the binge/purge eating cycle. 

This was a few years ago now when I was in my very early twenties and I am pleased to say that behaviour and attitude to food is very much behind me. I think if you do have that, almost obsessive personality then it is always going to be something that is in the back of your mind though, and that is why I believe it's actually part of healthy eating to treat yourself occasionally. It stops you feeling deprived and craving all the unhealthy foods that you are banning from yourself. They don't seem as important if you let yourself indulge in them just sometimes. I also think we shouldn't compare ourselves to others on social media and allow anything to make us feel bad about ourselves. Not everyone is honest on social media and even if you have had a bad day, or even week, of eating doesn't mean you can't turn it all around. 
Becoming a mummy to Rafe also really reinforced this to me. When you have a child you have a responsibility to set good examples to them about everything really. I really want to ensure Rafe has a good relationship with food, that he understands what is healthy and good for him, but I also do not want to be controlling. It is important to me that he knows that actually the odd treat is all part of a well rounded, healthy diet aswell, and that it is all about balance!

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